Updated: Jan 7
“To be careless in making decisions is to naively believe that a single decision impacts nothing more than that single decision, for a single decision can spawn a thousand others that were entirely unnecessary or it can bring peace to a thousand places we never knew existed.”
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Deliberately or unwittingly, you decide what your life shapes up to be. You decide what your weight will be, what your fitness will be, What your career, business, relationships or you level of adventure will be. How and who and on what you spend your time, money, focus and energy on shapes your reality and it shapes your destiny.
Every decision has a shadow. Unless you master it, the shadow is more powerful than the decision.
“It's not about making the right choice.
It's about making a choice and making it right.”
For a long time, I thought I was a skilled decision-maker. It took starting my own business to realise that I was mostly riding the wave of external momentum in environments where decisions took on a life of their own and where so many minds and hands touched them that no one could exclusively lay claim to the idea or to the decision.
It was more like I was dreaming or speculating out loud and this dreaming or speculating morphed into a course of action with or without my involvement.
At my own kitchen table, I continued the process. Dreaming, speculating, even planning. And often nothing materialised. I wasn’t bringing myself to live the decision. I wasn’t embodying the experience of living the decision I had made. Instead, I was embodying resistance to the embodying of the decisions. So while I made one decision, my subconscious mind made an entirely different shadow decision, committing my focus, attention, time and energy to cute quirky, logically justified resistance of the decision I thought I had made.
With the inevitable pattern of results that I yielded, it slowly dawned on me that what I had were nothing more than lofty ideals and intentions and that what I thought were decisions were nothing more that pseudo decisions and hallucinations. It was nothing more than me playing at being busy whilst employing a solid strategy to stand perfectly still.
Decision-making is a whole body process. When making a decision, it is so critical that you understand the purpose of the decision. What is the experience that that decision will yield and how does it become part of your life? How does one show up in how you think, feel, and conduct yourself on a day-by-day basis in order to materialise the decision taken? How do you Live your decision so that you become the person who naturally lives the experience that your decision in meant to procure? When do you start actually living it?
Until you see yourself actually living the experience your decision is meant to produce, you’ve not yet actually made a decision. Until you leave the shores of your current reality, and start living the experience of those that create your desired reality, you’re just fantasising. And if you’re just fantasising, at least be honest with yourself about that.
“If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.
The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.
If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign - body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on - alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction.”