My dark cloud again threatened to swallow me whole today. But, despite my misgivings last night, my sleep was restful, and so far as I recalled, it was peaceful. My wounded psyche was being cradled by the strength of my heart and my soul. The wretched emotions of yesterday had certainly abated, but I was still bruised. It was an early morning for me. A full diary. Yesterday my thoughts and my emotions had me. Today, I was intent on having them. Mastering them. Leading them so serve me so that I may serve my clients and my family. It's been a long time since I had experienced the degree of fury and vitriol as I had yesterday. Ordinarily, I can be pretty intense, but yesterday? Whoa! That was next level! That was clean, pure, untainted, and raw. No self-censorship. It was the closest I had come to experiencing the emotional intensity of my youth. A lot came up for me yesterday and I will have to walk a path with myself to process it, to integrate it, to release it. The kids had madressa quite early in the morning and then school worked kicked in immediately afterward. My coaching programme for the day kicked off almost simultaneously with madressa and took me into the early afternoon. If online learning is going to be a thing for the next few months, we're going to have to make a few adjustments. It felt pretty crowded in here for a while. I had the most delicious conversations with one of my clients. We explored letting go of expectations of normality, of redefining success, of reviving the grace of our ancestors. I committed to writing a post of the dreams we harboured for each of our lives, our families and the world. It will be the 'I have a dream' post. The creativity of our conversation made my soul dance; and Mali, you may not know it, but it was exactly the salve that my mind sought. The cover picture to this post is in honout of our conversation. We even coined the term 'pajama entrepreneur '. Cos there we were, mucho, mucho professional, working seriously and playfully, and in our PJ's. Yesterday, on day 13, fear gripped me at the throat. Today, day 14, a significant mental milestone in the lockdown, I was taught a lesson in grace. A single post in our neighborhood group created a demand for our products. They're damned good products. Damned good! And Ghaalieb got busy! So busy, he will be busy tomorrow as well. He had a flurry of customers who came through. He ensured zero human contact. No physical cash exchanged. If my mind was looking for evidence that we can financially survive the lockdown, my Beloved Creator delivered the evidence to our front door. And we're not that special in the grander scheme of things. If our Creator does this for us, His abundance can and will settle on the plates of all who are hungry. We are His vessels and instruments and it's time for my arse to get off the proverbial couch and to start cracking on. As I write this, excitement burst forth in me. I feel myself drifting out of fear and into love. And Mali, this shift, started in the time you and I had spent together. Thank you 🙏🏼. I truly love you for this. The kids are enjoying school work. Amaanah is asking for more. She kept herself busy by baking, reading, connecting with friends and drawing. I have no muffin pics cos we inhaled them faster than you can say 'boo!' Adam sensed my woundedness and gifted me with a flower. What a sweetie pie. Outside of that, he was online playing games until his eyes turned square. Unlike his sister, schoolwork is a bare minimum affair in his life.
The kids are getting tired of their daily chores and attempted a mutiny yesterday. That was cute. And shortlived. All a parent like me has to do these days is change a wifi password, and voila! Just the threat is enough. And there you have it, compliance. It works like magic. No need for violence. Or scolding. Truth be told though, the chores are getting on my nerves too. From what I see online, this is a universal feeling. The memes are hilarious. So Ghaalieb took to ironing again. This he did during the Presidential Address to the Nation. Lockdown extended by two weeks. No surprises there. What was surprising was the lack of intervention to stave off hunger, suspension of debt and interest, provision of critically needed sanitizers and masks to the poor and primary healthcare workers. The list goes on, and if you've been reading my posts you know by now how beautifully unimpressed I am by the ostensibly sterling leadership of our president, given the outrageous lack of accountability to the poor. Do I believe lockdown is necessary? Yes. Do I believe the European response is correct? Sure, assuming you import it together with the socialist relief they offered their citizenship. Are there other models we can explore? For sure. But those take leadership and a healthy integrous civil service. We don't got that. So, Marshall Law, it is. But PLEASE work harder to bring support and relief to the poor. Thankfully, our relief agencies are stepping in and people like you and I are doing our bit to get resources to them. If you know of people who need support, it's best to refer a relief agency to them than to a government agency. Please help where you can. Also, it's getting colder. Let's pack out warm clothes no longer in use. Let's get it to where its needed. As I mentioned, Ghaalieb was ironing whilst the president was speaking. Maybe he was concerned that I would go back to Day 13 Safiyyah. I really appreciated it. He's been such a wonderful cellmate.
And then as the president spoke, the memes came through, thick and fast. My gawd. South Africans are next level funny. I laughed so much my sides hurt. Our group chats had me snorting with laughter.
The kids listened to the address as well. They want to go back to school. Big huffs and puffs and sighs from them.
My dad called. He was glum. He is alone. I'm grateful for his students who occassionally pop in to see if he is ok and has what he needs. I'm gonna hook him up with zoom this weekend and get him back into the driving seat of his teaching. He doesn't want to come here and I respect that. I love that man! Ghaalieb had fumigated our room today, so we're camping. Let's hope it's more glamping than camping! Thank you Day 14. Your humour soothed me and eased my the last vestiges of my contracted psyche. You've been good to me 🙏🏼🤍